A Post You're Definitely Gonna Regret Reading...

This summer, Sam and I finally made the long trek to his mother's house in South Dakota. My main objective during the trip was to sort through (and confiscate) as many pictures from Sam's youth as I could get away with. After nearly 5 years with this man, I had yet to see a baby picture. Which is, in my humble opinion, a crime against nature.

I was especially looking forward to this experience because I imagined it would be some sort of grand unveiling. A glimpse into the somewhat mysterious past my husband has had so little to say about over the years. It never occurred to me that Sam just simply didn't have much to say about his upbringing. Or that he just isn't the "analyzer and reporter" that I am, and merely hadn't thought much about it. No, this couldn't be true. Certainly he was a secret fatty in his youth. Or a marching band mutant. And I'd been waiting a long time to find out.

As we delved through his baby pictures I felt distinctly maternal to the little munchkin I saw looking back at me. I saw no husband in these pictures, but a child that could have been mine, with features more familiar to me than my own... altered by chubby cheeks and the kind of innocence that accompanies only those with no real life experiences. I loved that baby boy.

As the boy grew older I was a little disappointed to find that there wasn't any big secret to reveal. He wasn't a marching band mutant after all (though he did spend three years as a Junior High Mutant... heaven help us... picture to follow).

At this point, the only reasonable conclusion I could come to regarding the "mystery" that shrouded my husband's past was that Sam had simply hated his life before me, and that I had come along and opened his eyes to what it was really like to be living. Naturally, this conclusion brought me great pleasure.

I continued sorting under this notion, puffed up with pride. Poor little Sammy, he must be so grateful for me! I really do bring out the best in him! Until we got to High School. At first, I found myself feeling all oooh la la and high school crushy over his football and dance pictures. Sam got all weirded out and awkward when I started trying to make flirty eye contact and playing footsie with him under the table, Kip and Lafawnda style. But once I snapped out of feeling swooney, something startling began to happen...

What in the world is that little pang in my heart and in my stomach? Seems so out of place right now. Why am I wanting to criticize all these pukey little friends in the pictures with Sam? Why do I want to be insulting about his cute and fun ex girlfriends and dance dates? Why am I feeling.... wait. Am I feeling..... JEALOUS???

I was. I was feeling jealous. And left out. I had heard about Sam's high school experience before, and he had never made it sound exceptional in any way. But as I looked through the pictures of him and his friends laughing, bon-firing, dating, pulling pranks (including streaking through the school on the last day of senior year. No, pictures not to follow. Perves.) and having an all around great time, I knew that my previous conclusion had been way off. He did, in fact, have an exceptional high school experience. He did have meaningful relationships and experiences. His life before me wasn't all dark and dreary and lacking in purpose. It was as if I was meeting a new Sam for the very first time, and this new Sam didn't need me in the slightest. I felt jilted.

At that moment I remembered vividly the first time Sam came to visit my home town when we were still dating. He behaved, for lack of a better word, shamefully, the entire time. He was stingy about taking any sort of trip down memory lane, resented my high school friends, and was completely uninterested in looking at any pictures. At the time, I was hurt, confused, and embarrassed by him. So much so, that I briefly considered breaking it off. And suddenly there I was, 3.5 years into our marriage, feeling perfectly sympathetic to my crusty little, poorly-behaved boyfriend. It was not a proud moment.

I have no real purpose for telling you this story. It just kind of spewed out of my fingertips as I considered how I wanted to present some pictures of Sam as a wee lad. But I will say, it took a good amount of snuggling and complimenting on Sam's part to get me through my stint of insecurity. You'll be relieved to know I did make it through though, with only minor damages... and now I'm really happy Sam had a happy childhood.

Now for some pictures. I'm sure they'll have the same effect on you that they had on me...

O.T.S. (Original Turkey Sub) Not to be confused with O.G. (Original Gangster)

Look at this little imp. This picture makes me laugh every time. What I really wonder is what derelict photographer looked at this picture and thought, "Yes, that'll do. Run along now."

I adore this one. That smile!

Ok, ok here we go. Junior High Mutant Alert: Brace yourselves:

.................

Don't hold back. Go ahead and scream. Upon seeing this photo I looked at Sam and with the most disdain I could muster, said, "I can just tell you would have bugged the crap out of me. You're lucky I didn't know you back then." Seriously, why am I so beasty? I shudder whenever I think of saying it. Forgive me, sweet hubby.

High School brings vast improvements

Such a handsome boy

Out with the old and in with the new! This is the Sam I knew from college.

I couldn't resist including this. For posterity.

Note the boots. And that sosweetitmakesmewanttocry couch.

And this one too... but just cause he's so fly

You've come a long way, my love.

Looking back, even though it was terribly difficult, I'm so glad I got to meet the Sammy of old. And now I'm so much stronger for it. I really have struggled through so much....