So Long 2009

You're probably getting sick of me talking about how weird and sad and blah blah blah I feel. So I'm going to try to make this my last weird and sad and blah blah blah post for a while. But mostly just if I don't feel that way for a while. Otherwise there will probably be a few more of these kinds of posts coming your way. But I really do think this will be my last one for now. Maybe.

**Insert: This post didn't end up being that weird and sad and blah blah blah after all so don't you worry.

This holiday season has been weird. Obviously unlike any other I've experienced in my 24 years. Tomorrow we are driving away from Idaho and leaving brings with it some strange feelings. It's not quite bittersweet. I guess bitterrelief would be more appropriate. I am relieved to be headed home, relieved to be kicking 2009 to the curb, and relieved to get back to some semblance of my life before I came here. But it's almost like leaving puts an end to the time we've been able to mourn together... like I'm saying, "Ok Jesse, I'm going home and moving on now." Part of me never wants to move on. Part of me wants to wallow forever.

More than anything I'm sad to be leaving my mom and dad and their home; this little sanctuary I've been snuggled into for the past month. Idaho Falls is such a wintery wasteland (don’t get huffy Idaho, you know I love you) and even though I've been tended to far more than I've been tending over these past few weeks, I keep visualizing my parents here all alone, shivering in the cold... with nothing to eat. For some reason, in my head my leaving translates into the heat not working and the food supply getting cut off. A slightly inflated view of my own importance, but whatever, that's how I see it. And it makes my eyes get all stingy and my throat get lumpy.

What I'm trying to say is that I don't know how to feel about all of this. SO I'm just letting it all jump around in my head and in my heart and now out my fingertips onto this blog post. And you're the lucky beneficiaries.

What I do know for certain is that I've gained 9lbs since I've been here... which definitely tips the scales (pun intended) towards the "bitter" side of this holiday season.

With that said, ahem.

Highlights and Lowlights of December 2009:

Highlights:

• Being with my family for more time than expected (especially Abe and Tiff and Co. who we left in Erie after Thanksgiving and expected not to see again until summer)
• Watching Leah and Lucy love love love and hate hate hate each other
• The gluttony that resulted in 9lb gain
• Going to Heise hot springs and mingling with true blue Idaho White Trash—the most fantastic and lovable of all the white trash variety
• Magical night alone with Sam in Salt Lake
• My dad laughing so hard telling me about his favorite "American's Funniest Video" that Sam thought something terrible had happened and flew (literally flew, like Superman) down the stairs in a panic to check on us (this could also be listed in the lowlight section due to Sam's genuine feelings of terror and subsequent "thought something happened to you" funk)
• Catching my dad kicked back in his leather recliner with not one, not two, but THREE boxes of assorted chocolates
• Pomegranate salad with whip cream. Holy shiz.
• Getting together with the Bischoffs for dinner in Utah—a little reminder of the splendor waiting for us at home in Chicago

Lowlights:

• Finally mustering up the motivation to shower and get ready only to find favorite jeans cutting off circulation due to 9lb gain
• Leah being sick and therefore a needy sleeper (she snores like an obese man, and rubs me up and down all night)
• Smelling like sulfur after Heise hot springs for three days, regardless of showering frequency
• That whole funeral thing (which in and of itself could be a whole list of mostly lows, and a few highs, so I’ll leave it at that)
• My mom getting her second hip replaced (also a highlight due to the interesting and awesome turn our conversations have been taking as soon as her pain meds start kicking in)
• Sam spending literally every extra second on evil school and interview preparations
• Waking up in the middle of the night to find my little niece, Lucy, huddled in the corner of her crib, whimpering away, surrounded by throw-up. Most heartbreaking.thing.ever.
• Not being able to visit Bethany and her family in Arizona as originally planned
• Having to leave

Hmmm… I will no doubt have more to add as I remove myself further from this experience. And in an attempt to keep things light, I’m glossing over some of the real significance of this season. I hope that’s obvious. But there you have it. If you’re lucky I just might share my list of New Year’s resolutions!

A few pictures to illustrate:

You'd think this picture was posed for a "hip replacement and you" brochure, but no. I simply stumbled upon her catching up on some helpful literature. She's a good girl.

Grammy's house is full of interesting nooks and crannies. The best part was sending Lucy down the hill behind my parent's house in that little plastic bowl. She loved it.

Leah loves planting her sizable tush anywhere and everywhere she sees fit. And she seems to think she fits in Lucy's lap quite well.

Lucy begs to differ.

Poppa and the Turkey Sub and a little squishing

Plotting something evil...

Loving...

And hating...

I love this picture simply because of Lucy's serene face in the background, admiring her cousin's handy work as she bludgeons her mother...

These two frolicked in the snow for about 3 seconds before....

Taking a spill and demanding to be taken inside.

Leah only loved her first encounter with the snow a little bit...

You can probably tell by the lame captions I am leaving that I've lost my blogging motivation and am distracted by the task of packing up a month's worth of pig sty in the bedroom we've been staying in. SO, I'll stop now.

See you in Chicago!