Saturday, November 14, 2009

Sky Rockets in Flight! Afternoon Delight!

I've been feeling rather uninspired lately. I blame Leah. She's been sapping away all of my zest for life by taking a flying leap into the terrible twos at the ripe age of 18 months. And I can tell by her mocking expression that she's doing it completely on purpose. Twice this week Sam has shouted at me that she's possessed... I think she very well could be.

I was feeling especially bored with my existence yesterday when we went to LPF (Liquidity Preference Function--- a little finance humor, apparently) which is an hors d' oeuvres/drinks schmorgesborg (try spelling hors d' oeuvres and schmorgesborg on your own. good grief) they put on every Friday night for the B-school students and their families. Glad to see our 50k/year put to good use.

Most of the students use this opportunity to get a little tipsy and try to impress each other, but those of us with kids gather up our food and hide out in one of the side rooms, alternating who's turn it is to go back for another plate. I thought this was hefferish until one of the student financial aid reps confessed to Sam that she secretly brings a doggy bag and makes off with as much free food as she can. She encouraged Sam to do the same because, well, times are tough. Now whenever I'm packing my compact-disk sized plate with finger foods, I imagine doing a fore-arm sweep across the table into my purse and making a dash for the door... and sitting right outside in the v-sit and reach position with my little bag o' loot between my legs, stuffing my face with meatballs and cheese squares. At least that's the way I always picture it going down for that fatty financial aid rep.

Anyway, we settled in to eat when one of our most favorite, fabulous families, the Clives (hopefully they read this so I get friend points) announced their plans to attend the circus. Of course, all families within ear shot jumped on board and in no time a processional of minivans started the trek to a little Barnum and Bailey extravaganza.

Who knew a little acrobatics and animal cruelty was all I needed to get my mojo back?

I was pleasantly surprised by the "Greatest Show on Earth." Because it was such an impromptu trip, we were unprepared so this was the single shot taken with Sam's cell phone:


I remember distinctly wanting to be a circus performer when I was little. Especially after seeing Toby Tyler. I've never seen a circus in my adult life so I was a little disillusioned with the vagabond mange that, indeed, makes up the circus troupe. And the clowns. Don't even get me started on the clowns. No doubt, each one of them vying for a promotion to "elephant crap sweeper." Otherwise, the acrobatics and ELEPHANTS OH MY GOODNESS THE ELEPHANTS! were rather spectacular.

Low Point: The tigers. While it was awesome to see these majestic beasts jump and leap and roll over in unison, I was peeved the entire time with the trainer, an obnoxious latino with a whip, who was screaming the entire time in an attempt to maintain power. Tigers are clearly not as responsive to verbal abuse as elephants. They kept snarling and swiping at him and I was stressed out the whole time. Secretly I was hoping one of them would Siegfried and Roy his little gold-sequined arse. Don't you hate the word "arse?"

High Point: One of the chestery carnies working the door who, when I asked him where the restroom was, pulled me close around the waist and whispered, "what was that?" in my ear, while feverishly kneading my love handles with both hands. Mmmmm.

Leah was utterly hypnotized until spark plugs started going off in her little brain and she promptly fell asleep from overstimulation... but not before Carina lovingly graced her palm with a sucker, one of her first sucker encounters... she was so delighted she slept with it clutched in a sticky wad on her chest.

I rinsed it off and presented her with it again this morning... you can see for yourself what happened....


Don't think I won't be toting a stash of suckers around with me where ever I go from this point forward. Just in case she cops a 'tude.

9 comments:

Amber said...

Oh, the terrible 2s at 18 months. Joyful. We are still dealing with the aftermath of the terrible 2's some 2 years later.

The circus sounded like alot of fun. We are sad that we missed it!

Carina said...

Are you sure that sucker wasn't spiked? She looked a bit tipsy. I don't believe you for a second that that cute little thing could throw such tantrums. Ha ha!

What fun times we get to share! Attending the circus was my lifelong dream and I am happy we could share that pivotal moment together.

Courtney said...

I hate to say this, but I've found (and concurred with many a mom) that two's don't even rival the 3's... just sayin' lest you be tempted to let those hooligans you mentioned on my post spread their seed. Don't do it Vanessa!

Aside from that horrid thought, I love/hate the circus. And the zoo. Good thing our kiddos love them though. It's good to see you guys have so much fun stuff to do. It gives me hope for the insanity that is lurking ahead for my little fam.

Leah is darling. Darling, darling. My vote would be meeting up in good ole Erie sometime so I can pinch her, please.

sarawhat said...

I found myself holding my breath through that whole video, fearing Leah would fall and that sucker would get shoved down her throat. I guess the crazymom/overprotective-ness applies to othe peoples kids too. I have never seen such euphoria brought on by a sucker....she has obviously been deprived of sugar. :) The circus sounds fun! Aside from the creepy circus staff. Circus people and carnies, they can give me nightmares for weeks!

Tiffany Wilson said...

Okay, I feel totally hoodwinked. I went into this post thinking it was about sex. How dare you draw me in like that and then have a post about the circus! ;)

Mimi said...

Okay first of all, I LOVE the title of this post! It makes me want to watch a little clip of Ron Burgundy's news crew in action.

Second, that part about the chestery carny at the door? WHAT?!?! Ick...I can't believe you're not still in the shower scrubbing yourself free of circus cooties.

That was a really fun night. I was also feeling exceptionally bored with my existence that day. Nothing like the circus (and super awesome friends) to make you feel better about life!

Jill Wilson said...

I wish these blogs had a "like" icon I could click on like facebook :) You never disappoint young lady!

eryn said...

So that's how you entertain yourself when your evenings get a little slow!

The circus rocked. Addie mentioned today that she wanted to be a lion when she grew up. I told her that was impossible so she had to remind of the man that was transformed into the white tiger from the circus. I'm going to have so much explaining to do.

Kent said...

No offense to Jill, but the "like" icon in FB is the stupidest thing ever. Not feeling like making the effort to put together a coherent sentence or 2? Just hit the "Like" icon, and you don't need to add any value to the conversation! It's the equivalent of "So true" in real life.

On another note, I can't STAND the numerous get-togethers my work has just so people can get free drinks off the company. Those of us who don't drink should get a 3K bonus at the end of the year for not wasting the company's money on alcohol. Man, I hate those things, and I can't wait to use my kid as the excuse to get out of them. This deserves its own blog post.