I really have no business blogging right now. I've been a complete failure of a mother today. Which means I pretty much parked my two babes in front of the TV all day, and made a bunch of false promises about doing fun things "in a few minutes," with every intention of surfing the net instead. My children have been completely revolting, behaving like little neanderthals out of attention-seeking boredom. And here it's dinner time and the last two times Leah has told me she's hungry, I've sent her off to dig another pack of fruit snacks out of my purse.
But it can't be helped. I'm in a funk. A post Totally Awesome Weekend funk. And I blame you. No, not you. YOU. And by YOU, I mean YOU, Mimi and Carina! You know what you did! And now I'm gonna tell everybody!
Truth is, they came to visit for the long weekend. And we had a glorious time. And then, they got all selfish and went home. And ever since, I've been sniffling and slobbering and wallowing in our sandbox.
But, because I am such an emotionally sound person, I'm going to write through the pain and soldier on. Because I know you can't wait to know what we did during our weekend of blissful delirium.
It all started last week when, after a four hour staring contest, Sam and I were feeling a little bored and dissatisfied with each other. So we sent up a smoke signal. And the Bischoffs and Snows answered the call.
You might think we'd be afraid to cram 6 adults and 7 kids (including 3 babies) into a two bedroom apartment. Or that we let minor details like not having enough beds or enough room to avoid awkward cross-spousal underwear sightings keep us from congregating in Hoboken. But you'd be wrong. Because we don't let stupid things like that come between us. And we secretly like those cross-spousal underwear sightings. Oh, Carina! Stop pretending it's only ME who likes them! Grow up!
Ahem. Guess I should post a picture before this post gets too self-indulgent...
The Matriarchs. All ready for church.
And our men and baby spawn.
It was really cold... so, truthfully, we only ventured outside a few times. Mostly we just ate. There was a lot of eating going on.
These babies kept busy trying to assert dominance over each other. And Baby Jude enjoyed two sexy older ladies at his disposal all weekend.
Skylee and Eve both pulled all nighters on Saturday night. It was a real hoot, I tell ya! Everybody loved it! Personally I think it was all orchestrated by baby Jude.
We did brave the cold to visit the waterfront.
Tiny Tuna loves the cold... This was my view into the ergobaby for the duration.
My favorite part of the whole trip was a rather spirited poker game. Mimi was ready to tear shiz up. And she did.
My poker face confounds even the most seasoned poker players.
It's really this part of it that's the real money maker. They can't tell what I'm thinking. Totally throws um off.
Interestingly, this is the very face Sam and I share to signal the beginning of our mating ritual.
And of course we peed ourselves laughing all night.
The Turkey Sub is still perfecting her super hero stance. But I think it's pretty much how batman stands.
Yeah. I'd say that's about right.
The Bischoffs ventured home on Monday and Mimi's hub, Matt, headed off to some business meetings he arranged in Philly, so Mimi and I had the day all alone to paint the town. SO, we went to the park in the arctic weather and chattered and huddled together while the kids played. Our love kept us warm.
And Sam shot Tiny Tuna down the slide a few times. Which increased my quality of life three-fold.
There's no excuse for her.
I think I may print this one off and hang it with my family photos.
See? Made for each other.
Oh Mimi and Carina. Thank you for traveling all the way from Buffalo and Michigan! Now come back to me! And bring your husbands, too. Because, although he won't admit it publicly, Sam's been crying himself to sleep at night. And I caught him carving S+L+M=LOVE on the little walnut tree in front of our building.
The end of 2011 was pretty much picture perfect for me. One of the pluses to not traveling to my family for the holidays is that I undertake enough festivity responsibility to avoid turning into a grotesque, fat slob. Which is precisely what happens whenever my mom is around and I shift instantaneously into "daughter" mode, and pretty much give "wife/mother" mode the bird. It's not pretty. And generally results in my developing a bedsore or two.
And so! While I missed my family terribly this Christmas, I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy about our little Palmer family holiday fiesta this year. And now I'm going to tell you all about it.
I'll start where I left off after my last post. Here goes!
We, of course, had to decorate gingerbread houses. But don't go thinking we do the homemade kind... or the graham cracker kind. No. Not us. We like things nice and commercial. The Turkey Sub was elated with her creation...
...and don't think I'm so anal that her placement of that rogue peppermint wheel right there bothered me at all. Don't you go thinkin' for one second that I was sittin' there all patient-like, smilin' like a robot, watchin' her chubby little hand blob that frosting right there in the center of things, where it don't belong. Don't you go spreadin' it around town that the whole time I was feelin' my brain turnin' into psycho stew, wantin' to pry that off-centered, ill-advised little candy right out of her cold, dead, fingers! Cause I'm way too laid back for that. And don't think I wasn't saying this whole caption in a thick, southern accent in my head the whole time I was typing just now...
You may remember, Sam takes his BGH decorating seriously. Which is why he nearly blew a gasket when, shortly after beginning his assembly, he noticed several of his house pieces were broken. He spent no less than 45 minutes, puzzling them back together with his trusty frosting glue gun bag. Poor little Sam... just lovin' those ginger bread houses... carryin' that little bag of frosting glue wherever he goes...
I've been a little miffed that we didn't get any snow this holiday season. As an Idaho girl, I like my Christmas's nice and white. But, the warmer-than-normal temperatures did make for some splendid park outings.
If you can believe it, I didn't actually take any pictures on Christmas morning. Sam was videoing, basically, the entire time. And as tempting as it was to upload a 45 minute video for your viewing pleasure, I'm going to practice a little self-restraint. But let's just say it was awesome. And my heart grew three sizes watching Leah bludgeon Eve at the slightest provocation, in what can only be described as Christmas-loot-psychosis.
Later that day we loaded up the car and headed off to Virginia to visit Sam's brother, Joe, and his family. And I gained 15lbs. Because my sister-in-law, Heather, is a gormet chef (seriously, visit her food blog, you'll die) and lover of all things delicious. And so we feasted. And were satisfied.
We did take a few short breaks from eating to go to the park...
These two little dears were inseparable the whole time. Palmer girls have to stick together, you see. On Sam's side there are approximately 764 boy cousins... and just four itty bitty girl cousins. Maggie, here, was the female pioneer. Leah was second. They luff each other.
And now prepare yourself for 47 photos of Eve at slightly different angles. I am obsessed with her...
Tiny Tuna and little Sammy Jr... Heather and Joe like to pretend he wasn't named specifically after Sam, but I can see it in their eyes... he definitely was.
Sizing each other up... seconds before they broke out in violent breakdance fighting.
The breakdance fighting joke just never seems to get old.
The sweet taste of victory...
Maybe defeat?
I burst into song every time I see this photo. It can't be helped.
Palmer men take their games seriously. Turns out Sam dropped the ball.
Perhaps you didn't notice the tennis ball whizzing towards his back? This was taken directly before they stripped him down and whipped him with reeds. And smeared his face in dog poop. It was a real kick in the pants to watch!
This is my favorite picture of the whole trip. I remember when I was little, and spotting an adult lying helplessly on the ground was like striking gold--most comfortable seat in the house. I know this to be particularly true of Sam, as this is my position of choice for our nightly four hours of TV watching.
I am feeling especially lame that I didn't get any pictures of the adults together, but it was a most excellent visit, culminating in Heather sending us on our way with a tupperware full of homemade chicken tikka masala and caramels. Who does that? JEALOUS?? Thought so!
After Virginia we spent a few days at home bingeing on lindor truffles and Masterpiece Theater literary adaptations... including Wuthering Heights. Have you seen that version? Good grief, my heart is still aching. And there's a small chance I find myself calling to Cathy in the night... And Sam may or may not have shouted at me in a whisper last night that he'd had enough of me referencing it and that I was starting to freak him out.
(Love you Heathcliff!!!)
Ahem.
And there was also a little of this:
Let's be honest, there was a lot of that.
And a few parties to attend.
On New Year's Eve we headed to Connecticut to visit another of Sam's brothers and his family for their new baby's blessing.
But not without a little stop at the Stamford Maritime Aquarium.
This right here, my friends, is Leah's "Princess Face." It appears when, and only when, I tell her to smile like a princess. Oh, Leah Lou... so much to learn about the world...
It was here, at the deep ocean exhibit that the Turkey Sub shouted out, "I wanna fry that one up for dinner!" every time one of the large tunas swam by. It was a proud moment for all involved, though Tiny Tuna didn't approve.
Outside for seal feeding time. Guess what I said to Leah right before I took this picture?
If you guessed, "Leah! Smile like a princess!" you'd be right.
Only photo evidence that I was there. Yikes.
At the stingray touch pool.
When I tried to coax Sam to touch them he replied, and I quote, "I only like to touch furry mammals. Like you." He's always known just what to say to make me feel sexy.
They randomly had this meercat exhibit with this bulb thing in the middle for kids to get right in on the action. Leah was over the moon, singing and twirling and squealing, and I'll just say it, the crowd was waaay more enraptured watching her than those little rodents...
...until some smaller children tried to join her and she ended up oafing around and nearly stomping them all to death in her blissful delirium. Then things at the meercat exhibit turned a little sour...
After the aquarium, we went to CPK for a much needed chain restaurant dinner. Think I let having a baby slow me down and keep me from staying out late? Think again, beyotches!
Just kidding. This was just a freak stroke of blind luck. But for a minute it made me feel like one of those annoying I'm so awesome I rock climb with my newborn strapped to my butt! kind of people. Thought I'd make you all think I was one of them.
After dinner we headed to our hotel for some swimming and a movie. And perhaps I fell asleep at 8PM and Sam rang in the New Year with some creepers he met down at the bar. Or maybe he just watched me sleep, all bug-eyed and breathing heavy.
Oh, and I'm happy to report that not once, but THRICE our room was accosted by knocking drunkards in the middle of the night. They were undeterred by our ignoring them, too. Just kept on knocking away, those cute little drunks. Til' Sam flung the door open in a sleepy-rage-filled stupor and made them pee themselves a little sooner than they should have that night. Guess that's what you get for staying in a hotel on NYE.
Think this tale is over? Think I'm done yet!? Forget it!
The next morning we made the rest of our 2 hour journey to New Haven for the baby blessing. It was a glorious, albeit short, little jaunt. And I'm kicking myself now for not taking any pictures with my own camera. Still waiting on them. So, the gajillion photos I've posted in this post thus far will have to suffice your monstrous appetite. Stop being so greedy!
Oh, Holiday Season of 2011, you were good to us. Reeaaal good. And I think, after such eating and drinking and being merry, this picture of Eve sums up the way we're all feeling just perfectly.
Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Bless us! Everyone!
