Some Things Are Just Too Good....

I don't even know where to begin this post. In fact, I've been putting off posting about this particular grand event for like two weeks because the task has seemed so daunting. That, and my sister has been holding half of the pictures hostage. And I still don't have them. But more importantly, there are just no words to properly describe

MERADITH AND JASON AND CO. COMING TO VISIT CHICAGO!!

See what I did there? See how I made it all big and rainbowy so you could tell how fun it was? And how dreamy I feel thinking back on it? I'm pretty good at making complex emotions simple with rainbows.

Anyway, it was an action packed, fun-filled adventure. In fact, we're such fun-gluttons that at one point we actually drove three hours for frozen custard. More on that later.

We'll begin today's journey with a little photo delight of Leah and Lucy. These little dears were so in love your heart may just burst witnessing a bit of their splendor...

But don't let them fool you. They would become quite vicious at the slightest provocation. And wouldn't hesitate to grab each other by the collar and go blow for blow. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at once. But for the most part there was love, love, love all around.

And this Tiny Tuna was as sweet as cherry pie.

Oooooh I can't handle her tiny face and huge cheeks and overall gushiness!

Our first day we ventured to Milwaukee to sample the frozen custard that, many moons ago, inspired Meradith's hub, Jason, to open Coney's in Utah. If you live in Utah Valley, better yet, if you ever have any reason to go to Utah for anything at all, and haven't tried it, I urge you to do so. So freaking good. And their burgers and hotdogs and custard win all sorts of awards and crap. For reals. So good. Go there.

Anyway, we went to Milwaukee and got custard and then went to this fun zone place that was full of great food and fun and everything wondrous.

Sam and Jason with their respective wenches following an invigorating round of mini bowling.

I hadn't been bowling in years before I stepped foot on that little mini bowling lane. And I'm not afraid to admit that obliterating my husband in a game awakened the bowling passion in me. I've been heckling Sam to take me real life bowling ever since. Turns out he's too scared.

Mer and the munchies on the frog hopper...

Before you look at this next group of photos, please beware that they were taken while I was under the influence of, and completely intoxicated by, dessert pizza. You'll notice the sequence of events, peaking somewhere in the middle and then slowly declining into the dark world of dessert pizza poisoning...

... finally resulting in a complete dessert pizza overload brain implosion....

Meradith experienced something similar, but I'll allow her to divulge the details on her own blog at her discretion. I will say it started out like this....

... and didn't end pretty.

On day two we headed off downtown on the metra to visit Millennium Park and Big Willy, formally known at the Sears Tower (rest in peace). The best part of this picture is the crusty old curmudgeon in the bright pink jacket behind us...

Fun fashion tip, ladies. If you want to look 700lbs, go ahead and zip your baby up in the front of your coat. It worked for me, and with a little work, it can work for you, too...

The Bean, or "Cloudgate" always makes for some good ol' fashioned family foto fun..

Not quite....

There we go... note Froto Baggins on the right. Well, I guess Sam Wise would be more fitting...

The babes desecrating some spring blossoms. It was a toasty 40 degrees out that day. Those blossoms didn't belong....

Big Willy!

Yuv this one...

Pictured here; Leah grooming her mother like a baby baboon. It's a sweet, tender service she renders only to me... and sometimes Baby Eve.

We were killing some time at a mall in Milwaukee when Meradith decided to have a little fun at my daughters expense. The munchkins were dutifully playing along in the fun toys when Mera very casually said, "Leah, go bring me that lady bug..." Being the obedient little girl she is, Leah went straight to work trying to retrieve that bolted-down lady bug for her auntie...

After a few minutes Leah would look up at Meradith and say, "Auntie, it's too hard..." and abandon her futile task... and then, minutes later, Meradith would, very casually again, say, "Leah, go get me that lady bug over there." And off she'd go...

This charade repeated itself no less that 15 times. Which means that Leah spent, pretty much, the duration of her time in the fun toys trying to heave this huge ceramic bug from it's mount on the ground. All for her mean, mean Auntie.

You'd think I would have put a stop to this mental and physical child abuse. But you'd be wrong. Because I was having too much fun pointing at her and peeing my pants with laughter.

And that concludes the first installment of

MERADITH AND JASON AND CO. VISIT CHICAGO!!

...because Meradith still has all of the pictures from the second half of the trip. Cause she's a reeeaaal 'sombeech. And while I'd like to tie the documentation of their glorious trip up in a pretty little bow and send it on its way, I can't. Not 'til I get them pictures. So stay tuned....

"Shameful Dating"

A little story I just wrote on the sister blog...

http://randomtangentry.blogspot.com/2011/04/shameful-dating-part-1.html

Disney, Ya Done Meh Good...

This post is going to be mostly pictures. Pictures that are far too plentiful and far to fabulous to be placed in any sort of order... Because over spring break we went to DISNEYLAND!!! That's right. It was glorious and magical and wondrous and everything good in the world all wrapped up into a few days of SPLENDID! With cherries on top.

My sissy, Bethany, and her family drove from Phoenix to meet us. Our other sister, who shall remain nameless, better yet, "She Who Shall Not Be Named," couldn't make it. It's too bad for her too, because me and Bethany made up all sorts of secret handshakes and stuff...

Anyway, I LUFFED it! It was actually my first time to DL. So don't think I didn't throw elbows. Cause I did. I'm not scuuured to shove an 8 year old out of line.

Onward! Here are a few of our magic moments...

The Turkey Sub is completely in her element with her cousies... Just look at 'er our first night at the hotel.

I can't even handle them...

Have you ever seen anything better? No. No, you haven't.

Waiting for the disney shuttle in the morning... enraptured by this snail on the wall. We pretty much didn't even need to go to disneyland...

This isn't from the trip but I included it to show off Leah's new swimming suit. Obsessed.

This was all good and well until the kids started touching the cars... and then a Disneyland sniper ninja ascended from the sky and tranquilized all patrons within a 15 foot radius. No touching the cars!!

Leah spent as much time in the shrubbery around the attractions as she did on the actual rides. Just too many railings to climb for a two year old to resist.

Bethyboodle and the munchkins...

Leah Mae and dad on their second bumper-car-go-round...

This little bundle was an absolute dream boat the whole trip. Including the 5 hour flights. I was over the moon with her the entire time. Still am.

Halfway through this ride, as I watched from the sidelines, I noticed Leah disappear and Bethany start laughing so hard she could hardly sit up... what I couldn't see was Leah bent over at the waist, flopping around because she could no longer hold herself up against the G-forces. When she got off, she was still happy as a clam!

Giving the sword in the stone a hearty tug...

The bendy bars in Toon Town.

Mama duck and all her ducklings... and mine.

While this green chair may look plush and inviting, it wasn't. I nearly cracked my head open when I sat down.

Walid and Ally giving Leah a little "what's to come" pep talk... Blowing her mind, I dare say.

After finally convincing Elyza to go on the California Screamer. She started screaming "Again! Again!" as soon as it ended. It was a good moment for all involved.

On the huge California Adventure ferris wheel...

Sam with Bethany's Ally and Elyza on the Ferris wheel.

Sam can only occasionally be found behind the camera. But you can bet, if we're out and about in a picture-taking kind of way, he'll snap one of me nursing. Every time. I can't tell you how many shots I have just like this one. Making the same face, too. What can I say? I inspire him.

Don't judge my greasiness.

Dang it feels good to be a gangsta...

And finally, the princesses. Oh, the princesses. Or, as Leah says, the Princesses-es. This was the highlight of the trip...

This first shot is when Leah first spotted Belle down the way and said, "Look Awiel! It's Belle!" She could barely contain herself long enough for the next pose. Ariel was a little put out.

The crowning moment of our Disneyland experience was meeting Belle, Leah's favorito of the princesses-es. There was so much gushing and twirling and squealing my heart burst into a thousand tiny pieces. But, let's not pretend Belle didn't look a little weird. Maybe it was that felt shawl/petty coat monstrosity she was wearing...

I realize this video is sideways... But it's 10:52PM and I'm starting to get that panicky feeling that only mothers, who know they will never get to recoup lost sleep, get when it starts to creep past bedtime... so it's stayin.

Leah was shouting out, "Hey! Cinderella! Hiiii! Cinderella!" And then looking back at me, "Come on, Mama! Let's go see Cinderella!" That little pansy in the feather hat kept blocking her way with strategically placed dances moves.

Oh, Disneyland... you are my new best friend. It's been a long time coming. And after not once, but twice, becoming so overcome by your splendor that I attempted a choreographed song and dance number on your Main Street, I know we will be in each other's lives for a very long time... You're beautiful.

Leprechauns...

Chicago has this strangely fascinating tradition where they dye the Chicago River bright green for St. Patty's Day. What's interesting about it is that they can't really explain how, exactly, they manage to do it. It was all serendipitous back in the 50's when they first discovered it and no other city since has been able to pull it off. And what'll really blow your mind is that they actually use orange dye.

So really, none of it makes sense to anyone at all. And the "River Dyers" just get all shifty and skittish whenever anyone starts poking around for answers.

Anyway, the reason I say it's strangely fascinating is that you wouldn't think it would be so mind-boggling to see it in person. But I just kind of sat there staring at that bright green water for like ten minutes straight. Weeping at the beauty of it all.

Not really weeping. But it did sorta blow my mind and chap me all at once. And I did end up having like forty pictures in a row on my camera of nothing but bright green water. I just kept clicking away, trying to get it to make more sense. As if I could go through the pictures later and somehow, from some angle, one of those pictures would bring about some grand revelation. I mean, how the crap do you dye an entire river green? Doesn't a river flow? Is the river green all the way down to the bottom? If I dipped my finger in it, would my finger turn green??

It's all very fishy to me...

I blame the Mafia.

Anyway, now that I've got you all riveted, here's a few pictures of our trip to see it on Saturday...

Me and Sambino...

Just look at that bright green water! I mean, how do they DO IT?!?!

Just kidding, I'm over it.

Our respective offspring...

Unlike me, they weren't that amazed. They just looked at the river for a minute and then formed a sort of mosh-pit for the remainder of the time, while the adults took a hundred pictures.

Seriously, you don't even KNOW how excited Carina and I were when we got there and saw all that green water. There was just so much rejoicing and gratitude...

But that pretty much happens every time we see each other...

What you didn't see was me spinning her around and tossing her up in the air a few times...

And then rocking her right to sleep after she gave me a good belch...

We were finally able to contain ourselves long enough to take a proper photo with all the lovely ladies.

Did you notice the color of the water behind us? It's GREEN.

Leah wore her huge hat just like this for the duration...

Quick note. Ever since I started out by titling this post "Dirty Leprechauns," I've been thinking everything in an Irish accent as I type. And the question I pose to you is this; are "Irish" accents and "Pirate" accents the same? Because in my head right now, I'm thinking you can use them interchangeably. Maybe I've just been thinking in pirate...

Enough!

Onto a few more pictures for posterity.

Leah is always heckling me while I'm doing my makeup, so the other day I pinned her down and gussied her right up. She didn't appreciate the application very much, but she did fall instantly in love with her reflection in the mirror...

And then she turned all diva and started making outlandish demands for jewels and exotic furs...

This Tiny Tuna has started giggling and, I'm not kidding, even thinking about it is giving me the urge to huck this laptop out the window. I lub it. And I lub her. And I lub you.

It should be noted that we have spent most of March cycling through a nasty cold sent to our family straight from the bowels of Satan.

Poor tiny Turkey Sub...

"I feel all better with purp-ah yips mama..."

Feeling a little more spritely these days...

As this picture was taken Leah was actually saying, "Alllllwight guys. All done. Get baby Eve offa me."

Then she gave her a good shove.

The End.

WAIT!

One more thing...

Both my babes at the same age wearing the same outfit. Leah just likes to show a little more leg and a little more double chin than Eve. I think they look nothing alike... but ooooh I'm a lucky mama.

What Dreams May Come...

When I was young, I thought nothing would be more glamorous than living in a big city. People from big cities held a sort of celebrity-esque wonder for me. And they sat waaay up the coolness scale from us country folk. Not to mention all those huge buildings. A good skyline was like, the sexiest thing ever. And I used to fantasize about hailing cabs and stuff.

That being said, when I was twelve I decided I wasn't getting enough attention and thought it would be a good idea to tell all of my friends that our family was moving to, none other than, the Big Apple. This was especially preposterous because, I can assure you, in all of the history of Idaho Falls, Idaho, there has never been a family move to New York City. But, for some reason, this seemed like the ideal place for me and the ideal place for my family and so I went for it. Never mind the fact that saying you're moving actually entails leaving a place... pshhht, details.


It got so out of hand that my best friend, Sarah, and I had a full on bawl fest and "goodbye letter writing ceremony" where we pledged our undying loyalty and bestfriendness to each other. Looking back on it, I'm pretty sure I was some sort of sociopath.


As you can imagine, keeping up the charade sent my life spiraling into a vortex of quaking anxiety. But then, one of my ex-lovers, Scott, talked to my sister about it, and my little house of cards came tumbling down. She, of course, knew nothing about this cross country escapade. Naturally, he wrote me a disdainful note explaining that he thought I was rude for lying and, more pointedly, a huge weirdo.


I sortof avoided Scott after that. And since he was older than me, I felt great relief once he left to high school. And when he added me as a friend on facebook last year I thought for sure he was still thinking about it and I felt all awkward like, for some reason, I needed to bring it up to him. And I was certain he was telling all his family and friends about me. And I just knew he only added me so he could somehow tell Sam he'd made a big mistake marrying me cause I was a liar! See, kids?! See what lying'll do to you!??


Sorry.


Back to my story.

The best part of it all was that I never fessed up. I just sort of pretended it didn't happen. And when people would bring it up, I would just get all shifty-eyed and point and shout, "What's that!?" and then snake some of their french fries and bolt. Eventually people just stopped talking about it...


My infatuation with the big city lasted, albeit less intensely, until college. And then I got married and moved to San Francisco. And that's when I realized that the key component to being enamored with big city life is to, in fact, not live in one.


Suddenly my vision of being all hipster and staring pensively out the windows of quaint little bookstores was violently replaced by the reality of crap like homeless people gettin' all up in my grill and me trying to lug 50lbs of groceries onto stinky buses overflowing with crazies.


But that's neither here nor there. The point of this post is this:


I was a sad little weirdy as a kid.


J/K.


The real point of this post is that Heavenly Father has made me painfully aware that He's not super interested in answering my prayers when I want Him to, but He does always answer them. And He's got a sense of humor, too. Because ever since it became glaringly obvious to me that I am, indeed, not a city girl, I have lived in either San Francisco or Chicago.


And the real, real point of this post is to tell you that in June, we're moving to New York City.


For reals.